|Insert introductory post here
||[Aug. 2nd, 2005|06:14 pm]
I'm so glad I found this community! Although I'm only 27 1/2, I recently discovered that I am already experiencing my Saturn Return. I had heard about Saturn Return in the abstract...I knew it was kind of a "settling of accounts", but I thought I was pretty much where I needed to be, and I thought I had at least a year yet before I started feel its effects. Well, Saturn had other ideas ;).|
A couple of weeks ago Hurricane Dennis came through, and my roof started leaking...into my attic...into my bedroom...into my living room. And about a week later, my washer was leaking...and I started experiencing intermittent internet activity, which seemed devastating because I work from home at a job the Universe is making it clear is no longer right for me. And then we fixed the washer, and something else went wrong with it. And although none of this may sound that bad, it's stuff that happens to people all the time, it really brought all my insecurities to the forefront. It was hard to adjust to things because they were happening so rapidly. I was becoming so depressed that my digestive system was off, and everything else seemed off as well. And then an astrologically-savvy friend checked my chart, and said, "Oh, it's your Saturn Return, and it's interesting that you are having so many water issues since Saturn is in your 12th house, which is ruled by Pisces/Neptune" (my Saturn is 0 degrees Virgo, on the cusp of Leo).
I'm trying to remain positive, because I get the tough love aspect of it, and I am realizing all the ways I've wanted my life to be better, and how my Saturn Return is trying to help me do that (although somewhat harshly). I wasn't taking care of me, or my house like I should. I need to get a better job. And because of all the ceiling repair issues, I have the impetus to finally clear out my clutter (a lifetime goal of a former stuff-a-holic)--not to mention that my stuff doesn't really seem that important anymore, and having as little stuff as possible seems really appealing. I'm budgeting better than I ever have before, because overspending no longer makes me feel good. I've lost the urge to overeat, and I am losing weight (another lifetime goal). It's like I have a much more goal-oriented mind now, but it's hard to relax anymore, and so it's hard to stay balanced. It's hard to feel "normal". It's hard to feel safe, feeling constantly tested, and hard to keep my equilibrium. And I feel like I am annoying those that I love and who love me with my whining. But almost everything is different now for me, and it's hard to accept sometimes. And this is just the beginning! LOL. At least I'm still laughing about it, right?
Is it ok to post with SR issues from time to time? I don't want to annoy any of you with this either, but I feel like it's taking me longer to get some of these lessons from this, and the sooner I get them the better. Any constructive comments would be appreciated. Thanks :)